What quarantine has taught me about valuing my time and space
When this moment in my life is all said and done, meaning this Coronavirus/quarantine moment, I will have gained a lot of valuable insight about myself, both good and bad. Today, I thought a lot about a positive lesson I’ve come to learn, one that will likely serve me well for the rest of my days.
It started with this thought:
We cannot confuse someone not wanting to be in certain social situations with a person being stand-offish or not liking someone or something. That’s unfair, particularly now when so many of us are still on guard about our surroundings and protecting ourselves against this virus that just so happens to have already claimed upwards of 100,000 souls right here in America, to date. That number will undoubtedly increase, and I don’t want to contribute to it. And since I know I’m not immune to the virus; and I know there’s nothing special that separates me from the 100,000 children of God who have already contracted it and died in my homeland thus far, I’ll just remain on guard for now. That’s my choice. It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s, but it does require understanding.
That initial thought morphed into something much deeper, as it typically does when I bother to listen to my thoughts.
Quarantine has taught me some pretty valuable lessons about how I spent my personal and social time, as well as with whom and where I spent it. I used to do a lot of shit socially out of pure boredom or just wanting to go and be “out,” or just not be alone. I wasn’t always having fun or even really enjoying myself or the company I was in. I was just “out.” And being “out” typically meant a lot of alcohol had to be involved in order to enjoy where I was. That alone really makes me go hmmmm and should have long before today. I’m more comfortable now being “in.” For the last 10-11 weeks, that has been the only option. And that really hasn’t been a bad thing entirely. Key word, entirely!
I have certainly come to value and love certain people and relationships more. I’ve come to place a greater value on long, meaningful, genuine conversations and interactions with my friends and loved ones rather than just always “kicking it” with them. I now communicate more with my friends and loved ones who don’t live near me, because I make more time to just get on the phone and start dialogues. And that has led to some beautiful, funny and fun moments that I will never forget. I can thank quarantine for that. I now value quality time over quantity time.
I now know for sure it doesn’t mean anything personal toward anyone or anything when I say “no.” So many of us take it personally when someone tells us “no.” We never ask their reasons, we just jump to a conclusion. I’m guilty of that. But it’s so unfair and misguided. Quarantine has taught me to value my personal time and to place more value on my time and interactions with others too. It doesn’t mean I have an issue with anyone or anything when I decline an invitation or opportunity to “kick it.” It just means I’m making a more conscious choice about my time, and still my health and safety too for the time being. Coronavirus is still spreading. The shit is still real. Human beings are still dying. I’m continuing to stay away from groups of people and public places as much as possible right now. More than that though, if I decline now or in the future, It might just mean I don’t want to be in a certain place or around certain people today, or I don’t want to socialize or spend my time in a certain way today. That’s cool too. Well, it’s gonna have to be cool, because that’s just the way it’s gonna be.
I’ve learned it’s better to be alone than to just be out for the sake of it or out to just “kick it” because I have nothing better to do. And it makes the interactions with the people I really do value so much more special. I revel in these moments so much more now, those laughs, the advice, the hugs, the smiles, the love. I’m so much more in tuned and appreciative of those little things now. This is good for me. I think it’s helping me be better and more attentive to my MVPs (most valuable people). And for those people who only want my presence on their terms, only to “kick it,” no worries, I’m sure we’ll be able to safely “kick it” again soon. Just know you’ll likely hear “no” more often when those occasions arise. I have realized I don’t need as much “kick it” time. I need more quality time. And that has to be ok. I’ve learned what’s more valuable for me, what’s more meaningful. At 37 years of age, meaningful and valuable interaction holds more weight to me than just being out.
Keep in mind, I’m only speaking for me. This is how I feel, not an attempt to establish any sort of universal train of thought or way of being. We will all emerge from this thing better in ways and worse in ways. This just happens to be one of the better side effects for me. It’s my truth as of today. It has been a great epiphany for me. I appreciate it and will act accordingly.